So last week I flaked out on everything and spent a good part of the week in bed, either reading (I finished a bad steampunk novel and started The Essex Serpent) or sleeping. Spinzilla was fun but, as usual, I went all-in and by Saturday was ready for it to be over. My hip flexors hurt from sitting and spinning so much and I fought with the last braid I spun late Saturday and Sunday. I’ll definitely do it again, but with better and strategic planning, now that I know what to expect.
I also happen to be in between creative projects; I’m knitting a shawl, but I’m not over the moon excited about it, and I’m not embroidering anything right now. I also have started to doubt my validity and long term plan, which I’ve managed to do in record time. Am I really an artist? Is that something I can really spend the rest of my time doing? Or am I just another person with needles and knitting patterns? I just need to do some more soul searching and long term planning, or, you know, actually execute my long term plan.
I saw my therapist on Friday and she noticed that my affect is pretty flat, so seasonal changes in the light might already be affecting me. I may need a medication adjustment, which annoys me because I didn’t need one last year, so why should I need one this year? I’m even taking vitamins this year to help keep things under control. I wish there was a blood test or something similar that I could take – just like my husband testing his blood sugar level – to determine exactly what I need instead of this touchy feely stabbing in the dark stuff.
On to planning!
The week before last week:
SPINZILLA!
It was fun, despite me having no sense of pace or self-control. I’ll definitely do it again and recommend it!
This week:
- Walk instead of going back to bed after I finish my morning coffee. Done for today – I took Lil for a walk on the W&OD trail (a rail trail) that runs through my neighborhood and all the way into DC.
- Go to TKD twice.
- Carry on knitting (S)urge, the new shawl and read The Essex Serpent while doing it.
- Start a new embroidery or new spinning project.
- Write a post about Spinzilla.
Little Golden Notebook 
Sometimes I think fall asleep s a good time to let go of the structure and just soak up the scents of the season. Sleep if you need to, cook something spicy if you want to, go outside and breathe in that pungent change of the season, read and lose yourself in a good book and even knit a few stitches, if you want to but definitely just relax and enjoy being alive. You’ll get there, you always do. 💕
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Thank you! ❤
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